Danni and Michael tied the knot!

Today was amazing. Simply amazing. My very best friend since I was five years old got hitched to a pretty great guy. I've never seen a more beautiful bride. And by the way, I was pretty awesome Maid of Honor. I didn't drop the ring, but I almost fell down. Some things never change. Despite the fact my dress was so tight I couldn't BREATHE, I enjoyed myself extremely! But seriously, there was some Crisco involved in putting me in that dress. But good grief, I looked good.

Perhaps I'm still on a cake and flower high, but I'm so dang excited to get married someday. I'm excited to enter into that Holy Covenant with God and my husband. Plus, he's gonna be pretty hot. Mmmmhmmmm.

1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready...

and 4 to go!!! New Moooon!!! Heck yes! Got my midnight premier tickets...got my friends...I'm ready!

Classy.

I love jazz music.

The end.

I'm positively positive that you are being negative.

I'm a positive person. Heck, I'm a ray of freakin' sunshine. I don't know why I am, but I am. Don't get me wrong, I have negative moments. Usually when it comes to guys, but that's another blog entirely. I just don't see the point in being negative ALL the time. Seriously, don't you get tired of hearing yourself whine? Maybe not because I'm tired of you enough for the both of us. I suppose this recent epiphany is due to Facebook. Lately, it seems like the only status updates are depressing and irritating. Here are some of my responses to your so-called "dilemmas".

"Ugh, I'm so tired and stressed!"--Ummmm hellur! We all are, sweetheart. We're college students! Being tired and stressed is now part of your life, but you have a killer social calendar. So suck it up!

"I'm so sick" Take an antibiotic, and go outside. The sunshine will do you some good.

"I wish he/she knew how much they just hurt me." Two words, dump them. Call that your own personal easy button.

and my favorite....

"I hate my life." DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!!

I don't hate negativity because that is a negative statement. Instead, I love positivity. This blog isn't intended to offend you. However, perhaps offense is appropriate. Some people may need to be seriously insulted to see that they are becoming that one person no one enjoys being around! Let's look at the basics. You are alive, and Jesus loves you. What more do you need? You have to WANT to get out of that pit. I think some of you actually enjoy misery. In conclusion, cheer up buttercup. Life is good.

Statistics...

Tonight I heard a statistic. I would preface that with 'astonishing', 'interesting', or even 'funny'. However, take it as you will without my influence. Here it is: 98% of our generation will go to hell. That mean 98% of our friends will die not only without ever having a relationship with God, but they won't of have even met the best dude ever. If you're like me, then you did this "Psh, c'mon isn't that number a little high? Let's not overexaggerate." A word of advice, don't ever come to God with a mocking or disbelieving attitude. He will shut you up real quick because He's good like that. After my cocky statement, God got a hold of me and said "Does the number really matter?" This was shocking. He continued. "Sam, no matter what the accurate statisitic is, you should pursue Me and the assignment I have given you as though 100% of the world is going to hell" God was telling me to leave no stone uncovered. He was telling me that as Christians we must minister to all and continously!

Just a thought for you to ponder!

I refuse.

Fall break is such a wonderful creation. Today, I was blessed to spend the whole day with just my Meme. I cherish these moments with the most genuinely kind, caring woman I know. She's tough as nails on the outside but sweet jelly inside. She bestowed some of her great wisdom and I thought it necessary to share.

Basically, the gist of our conversation and her advice was this. "You must believe yourself to be of great value, despite the world's harsh contradictions."

It saddens me deeply that the world has developed such a disgusting "standard" by which we are expected to meet. I refuse. I refuse on all parameters, dimensions, and aspects. I refuse to give myself for free without a ring on it. More so, I flat out refuse to marry someone with the mentality "if it doesn't work, there's always divorce." When did divorce become so old-fashioned? I refuse to step on people on my way to the top. I refuse to compromise my beliefs to earn a coveted, higher position. I refuse.

Food for thought, when did we begin belittling ourselves? God has not once ever thought us to be of little worth. Ever. In fact, He found us to be of so much value that He gave His only Son as a sacrifice for our sins. In truth, we will never be worthy of the grace He continues to rain down day after day. However, when we begin to view ourselves the way He does, that is when true transformation comes. That is the day when we abandon a world that has done NOTHING for us and give it all to the One who has done EVERYTHING!

Let us be a generation who refuses to fit the "standard". Instead, let's enforce and lift up the only standard that matters, the one of our Abba Father. You've never gone too far or done too much. You're wonderfully and beautifully made. There is nothing awkward, ugly, or ordinary about you. :)

the thoughts of a college student at 2 a.m.

It is 2 a.m. I say this because it will be the sole reason for my lack of grammar, spelling and punctuation. Though, I would like to point out my proper use of AP style in the previous sentence. I sit here at my computer with my back to my not nearly packed bedroom. Oh well, I am far too plagued with thoughts. Perhaps it is the late hour, the copious amounts of caffeine running through my system, or my awesome playlist. I'm going with all three. I have come to the realization that I am not an overly intelligent person. I do not speak eloquently, and I have yet to master the art of a rhetorical question. I am fond of using hyperboles, and I am continously fascinated by a palindrome. But I'm ok with my mediocre intelligence. I am not dumb by any means, just normal. Yes, normal. What good is intelligence anyways? How far can that possibly get you? I've decided that all the knowledge in the world can't equal one ounce of what we should live with. I think passion amounts to much more than being able to quote the Illiad or explaining what the heck Shakespeare meant. Many of the most brilliant minds have alot to show for their work in academia but nothing to show for their life in general. If I die tomorrow, I want to be known as a girl who lived with passion. A girl who threw her body, mind, and soul into living with purpose and loving every second of it. I want to know what it feels like to passionately love a man and be irrevocably loved in return. I want to feel the passion in which my Father God loves me and to love Him fervently in return. I want to hold my future children and love them with every piece of me. I want to enjoy the simple things in life with more than just a passing respect. True happiness and freedom has been given to me, and I want to dive in head first. Maybe it's odd to think about passion at 2 in the morning. I guess you could say Van Morrison has a way of making me see how wonderful life is.

Live passionately, my friends.

S.

Can't sleep...thus I blog.

Sleep hasn't been coming easily recently. For some reason, I find myself stricken with anxiety while lying down to rest. Very odd for me. My dad compares me to a baby...I'll sleep anywhere, anytime, and in the oddest positions. My neck is very flexible. Anyways...so not the point. In an attempt to proactive and not reactive to my situation, I have chosen blogging about God's work in my life to be an effective way of using this time. A reactive way would be to chug large quantities of Nyquil...not a good idea!

I spoke with my dear, sweet friend Julie today. She disciples me and I love the time we share together, even through the phone. It is amazing to me how God can close the age gap between us and form such a wonderful friendship. I love her family. Her husband and children simply fantastic as well! Jules and I had touched on some very important topics this time. I've noticed how our talks have begun reaching at more mature level on my part...and this is precisely the goal! I asked Julie to disciple me for the reason to have a mentor. She is helping me go deeper in my relationship with God and that relationship is becoming much more mature. I'm very pleased! One of the topics we touched on was a new church I tried. I enjoyed Fresh Fire Fellowship and I think it's important for me to meet with a form of leadership at that church to pursue a deeper involvement with it. I'm very excited!

One thing I'm learning is that I no longer want to just experience the Presence. I want to live in it. Instead of mentioning the random moments of Him...I want to have to mention the random of moments of stepping out of it. I want my current state to be completely reversed. I want to live under His waterfalls and never step out into the world. I want to carry His presence with me every where. I know He has offered it to me. It is time I surrender all of my burdens and accept it!

Just a few of my thoughts.

Love love love
S.

Summer Update...take two.

Well summer is half over. Alot has happened since my last post, and yes, I do realize that I still owe a blog that was promised. I'll get to it. But for now, YEC and my birthday.

YEC is the Youth Evangelism Conference. I was blessed to be able to take kids again this year, and it did not disappoint. I love spending time with the Hillcrest youth, and I know each one of them brought something back from the conference. A couple of them had intimate encounters with God, and I was excited to hear about them. Nothing warms my heart like a teenager on fire for the Lord. We also had a treat. We met Jeff Johnson. For those of you who don't know, Jeff is an excellent worship leader and pretty easy on the eyes, if I do say so myself. Katie was beside herself at the chance to meet him, and I was too, truthfully. I hid it, but on the inside I was a 15-year-old girl! We spent a good five minutes in our hotel room jumping up and down because he had told us he was Red Raider. But shhhhh...our little secret! I wish I could spend every moment with those kids. It's then I feel as though I am fufilling God's purpose for my life. We'll see where He takes me, but I'm more than thankful for where He has brought me.

My birthday was July 12! I'm 21 years old! I really wasn't all that excited about the number because I, truthfully, am not overly fond of alcohol. However, I did enjoy a drink for lunch. It was nice, but having my parents and sister there was even better. My parents are too good to me, and that statement was even more true after I received my gift--a Caribbean cruise. I honestly made a fool out of myself shrieking and jumping in the Carino's parking lot, but that kind of excitement can't be contained! I'm so blessed to have parents who care about their children and feel like rewarding us. I did nothing to deserve it, but my parents never ask me to earn their love. I'm so thankful they live their lives in representation of God's love and grace. He never makes me earn His love or grace; He gives it freely. My parents help to me understand this through their unconditional and gifting love. I love to see God's light shining through them separately, but it's overwhelming the way it shines through them as a couple. All I have to say is my husband is going to have some pretty awesome in-laws and my kids some pretty awesome grandparents. Water and Ex-Lax until then! Gotta be slim!

Not much else has happened. I'm in the midst of planning Meredith's bachelorette party, packing for my move, and soon we'll be wedding dress shopping for Danni. Everyone is either getting married or divorced, but I'm content with my singleness until I can be sure to avoid the latter of the previous two groups. God is so good to me, and I don't deserve it. I hope each and every one of you either know Him intimately, or will come to know Him in that way. My greatest prayer is that we welcome Heaven on the earth and leave no corner without the word of God. Our generation can do this because He is on our side.

Love and Peace.

S.

Summer update!

Well this summer has been busy busy busy!!! And might I add, it is going way too fast! So fast that it has been more than a month since I've updated this thing. Shame on me, I suppose. However, the Lord has been working on me immensely! So far this summer, I've been able to share my testimony numerous times and I've opened up about my beliefs more with my parents! I always thought they would find my charismatic beliefs crazy but, for two traditional Southern Baptists, they were very understanding! Praise God! I've been able to spend some time with my youth kids and it makes me miss them more. I've seen such a huge change and growth in them and I wish I were able to be with them everyday. The Lord has other plans though and I'm trusting Him. It's been one year since my decision with God to quit dating. There will be a blog devoted only to that a bit later on. The Lord has shown me so much and it often takes my breath away to view my life now compared to only 2 years ago. I don't what I ever did without feeling His love they way I do now. But I still want more!

He is good...all the time!

My thought for the day?

I wish my desk had a place for me to stretch out my legs. My knees are killing me!

Court comes for a visit tonight. Then I go home tomorrow for graduation. I haven't spent one weekend in Lubbock since school let out. My car is ready to shoot me.

RSVP cards.

The other night the Lord gave me a clear word. I was quick to kind of brush it off and call it strange, but He continued to push it. He asked me why I continue to send Him invitations with an RSVP card included. I was unclear on His meaning behind this, and then it hit. I often send invitations to God for various reasons, His presence, His help, etc. But each time I send the invitation, I also include an RSVP card. Why, is what the Lord asked? There is never a question to what His response is going to be, so why do I doubt Him? He will always come to where He is invited, without fail. Each time I send an RSVP card, I allow myself to doubt His miraculous ways and unfailing love. By using an RSVP card, I make His place at the event optional and easily dismissed. By doing this, I do not truly invite Him. I merely make a suggestion. God does not need my suggestions; He is the Almighty!

My prayer and mission is to stop sending RSVP cards and truly trust His promise. He has never let me down before, and He never will. :)

science, logic, and Christ.

Let's be honest, growing up in West Texas few of us were exposed to atheism, disbelief, or agnostics. In addition to the lack of contact, we were never taught "how to deal" (for lack of a better term). The Bible Belt doesn't tolerate this unique group of individuals. In fact, we are more often taught to avoid becoming corrupt by this group or to resort to drastic measures to save them. To be honest, no wonder they fervently hate Christians. Most have done a poor job of being examples of Christ's love. Myself, included. And for this, I am sorry for my behavior.

However, I feel that our mission as Christians is to bring the lost to Him. So, I sit here and struggle to find a way of presenting the case for Christ in a manner that will appeal to non-believers. Most athiests use science as their wall. So, science is where I look. I look for a scientific way of explaining Christ, but He defies all scientific explanation. To be honest, I was never very good as science, anyways. There would be no way I could explain it from that standpoint. And then I realize, I am not meant to explain it because I, myself, have very few explanations for Christ. I do have one...love.

Though I am far from knowledgeable about every piece of history or science, I do have access to His heart. He has opened this up to us so that we may witness the unexplainable. I can't tell you why He loves us so much, but He does. Isn't it worth far more to bask in that wonderful miracle than to spend a lifetime of nothing special trying to explain the Almighty? We must face facts that His love trumps all facts that one may consider to contradict Him because He is the Truth! Nothing exists without Him or makes sense without Him.

So, here I sit, and I say goodbye to logic and science, and I stick to what I know. His love. Because that means more than anything else ever will.

THE Heather Vassar :)

Ok, so, photography just got FUN! Last night, Heather Vassar is so sweet by the way, 2 other photogs. and I took like a 4 hour photo session of HV. She was so nice and accomodating and the pictures turned out great! I think I've come to the conclusion that photo. is probably not what I want to do as a career. However, it's a great hobby and I can't wait to try it more and more. I really feel like if I made it my "work", I wouldn't enjoy it as much. It would take the fun out, so remain a hobby it shall! Even though I'm late for work and still have a ton more to do before this afternoon, I thought this deserved a blog. Even though I am sure no one reads these. God is so so so so good. He really is :)

Just a few of my favorites :)

Pictures...Pictures...Pictures.

I have been eating, drinking, and living photography these past few days. Fun? Maybe not as much as I thought it would be. However, I am learning quite a bit. 1)I'm not very good and 2) I love it anyways.

I just thought it might be worth it to publish a few :)

This is a shot of the statue outside the SUB. Apparently, this statue contains inappropriate and PG-13 images...I was unaware. :)

I just love this building :)

That's all for now folks. More updates soon :)

Destiny vs. assignment.

I am guilty of a crime. My crime is against the human race and against my God. Recently, I was listening to a sermon by Bill Johnson (props to Nathan for telling me about him) and Johnson was speaking about destiny vs. assignment. He said they are two very different things and our destiny is GOING to Heaven; whereas, our assignment is BRING Heaven. I'm not going to lie, this took some time to wrap my head around.

It wasn't until I was able to fully grasp this concept did I realize I had committed a crime against humanity and my fellow children of God. Often I learn something from the Lord and then consider it to be the end of the lesson. One thing He has taught me recently was to stop being judgemental and to love people for who they are. I am so thankful for this; however, I let it turn me into something that I should not be. I became uncaring towards how others perceive God's will or plans for their lives. In my attempts to become "unjudgemental", I became a recluse who was only concerned with her own relationship with God. I was hiding in my destiny to GO to Heaven instead of pursuing my assignment. I love people, but I let them live their lives and trust they will find God in their own time. Their own time may not be enough time. I discovered I truly do not know or show the love of God unless I am doing my very best to bring Heaven into this world, everday. Which I have not, and for this, I am deeply sorry.

The lost world cannot wait for me to become comfortable in BRINGING Heaven. I can no longer hide behind a door and wait until I am "knowledgeable" enough to become bold. Everyday is a battle to bring Heaven into the hearts of the lost and for far too long, I have stood on the sidelines. I am tired of comfort and of my crimes. It's time to bring Heaven.

My dear Abba Father, teach me to fufill my assignment. I thank you for trusting me to do your work Father and I pray to trust you to help me. Bless me oh Father God! You are the Almighty, my Beloved, and my Rock! To You I cling!

The Gardener

This morning, I witnessed a heated religious debate. On the Tech campus, a man wearing a shirt emblazoned with the words "You deserve hell" and on the back "hell awaits you" was holding a large staff with a cross with Jesus Christ on it. He was waving wildly at the large crowd of students gathered around him and shouting that sinners must repent. Interested, we stopped to observe the commotion and soon noticed this was not a friendly debate. No, he had just told a Jewish girl she could never inherit the Kingdom of God and that she would burn for eternity. Outraged, the girl began debating back with the man. Many others of various denominations (or lack thereof) were shouting equally as loud. I was confused. Never had I seen someone openly condemn so many people to eternity in hell!

The point of this blog is not to complain about a crazy religious nut. Today was such a blessing from the Lord! I have been praying for sometime that the Lord would breakthrough on the Tech campus and for Him to expand my boundaries. He did both today. I was able to question the man some and voice my own opinions but I was also able to share with an unbeliever the love of the Lord!

I learned a great deal from today. One, there are a LOT of opinions and people love to be heard about theirs. Also, there were several instances in which God was not being invited into the debate. I am guilty of this. At one point, I was very concerned with only convincing this man that he was wrong. It was at the point I could feel God tapping on my heart which I realized there was a greater war to be fought than that of a slightly deranged man's false teachings. Around that circle were so many students missing out on the goodness and love of God! It was time to stop worrying about this man and more about our mission as Christians. That is when amazing happened. I watched as Christians began turning their backs to this man and speaking the truth of God's love and true salvation.

It has made me wonder- How often do I pursue personal gratification by being right than I pursue the mission God has for me on this earth? The answer? Too often and by doing so I am losing opportunities to bring the lost to my Lover, Protector, and Father. The Lord was good to me today. He pushed me out of my comfort zone and held me close once I got there. He never left. I pray that I will forever live outside of my comfort zone!

He taught me a greater lesson today than I could ever have thought. He taught me compassion, how to have an open mind and heart, how things look outside of my own personal bubble...and how much of a difference a personal testimony can make. I don't know if any kids were brought to the Kingdom of God today, but some seeds were planted. It's a good thing that our God has a green thumb :)

Was there a reason?

Yesterday, a huge kink was thrown in the middle of my plans. I had carefully and meticulously created this plan for my final year as an undergraduate. One more semester at Tech, a semester on an internship in Washington D.C., and then GRADUATION! However, it has come to my attention that this may not be possible. At first, I was distraught and depressed and then angry with myself, and then confusion set in. I was so depending on these plans to work and then they just, simply, didn't. I found myself seeking solace in phrase that so many of us have used, "Everything happens for a reason". However, thanks to a very wise cousin of mine, it was brought to my attention to really examine this situation and that phrase. So I did, and here is what I found.

What happened is not the end of the world but it does, indeed, suck. With that out of the way, I found that NOT everything happens for a reason. Now, now...don't get offended and stop reading. Don't lie, I know some of you are huffing and puffing already.

"How can you say that not everything happens for a reason? Don't you believe in the power of God?!"

Let me begin with this statement: Some things in life suck really bad. And this is how I know there is not a reason for everything. To imply that there is a reason for everything, would mean that God is the one making everything happen. This is not true. Cancer does not come from God. Car accidents do not come from God. School shootings do not come from God. These things are work of the devil and come from the hatred he has for our God and for us.

Let's look at another example to move into another point. "Accidental" pregnancies. God does not impregnate someone. He did that once and He's not going to do it again. I don't mean this to be offensive to anyone, because here is my second point. God can take these misfortunes in our life and turn them into beautiful things. A baby is a beautiful gift from a bad situation. Get my point?

God does not do things to prove a point to us or to teach us a lesson. He is good...ALL THE TIME! It is when we give Him our pain and suffering that we see blessings arise.

I think Bill Johnson said it best: "It's the spirit of stupid that gets on the brains and hearts of God's people and they just accept whatever happens as being the will of God."

Johnson tells us that these bad things are NOT the will of God. So why do they happen? I don't know. We have to be willing to admit that. We may not ever have an answer but we cannot blame God..even if it is by saying "it was for a reason." It is the enemies plan to make us blame God.

Let me leave you with this. Bill Johnson said, "It is foolish to have an opinion on something when God is not speaking." We must stop having the opinion that "it was for a reason" when it just wasn't. HE is a God of promise and HE is good all the time. All gifts are from God...and He doesn't give bad gifts! He is so good that He is incapable of giving you a bad gift.

The fact that my plans didn't work sucks. But if I give it to the Lord, He will heal this disappointed heart and I will sing of the gifts He has given me, instead of moaning about the pain satan has sent my way. I will not let the enemy win by blaming my God!

Who I am...

My name is Samantha Jo Berry. My daddy named me and I love it. However, apparently, an Austrailian rock climber has it too and I get a lot of Facebook requests from random people. I'd like to meet her one day. My mom and dad are amazing...they're still as much in love today as they were the day they got married, and I think that is pretty darn special. I'm the middle child of 3 girls and I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm the only one blessed enough to have a big sister and a little sister. The best of both worlds. I love my Lord and Savior so much that sometimes it physically hurts. Mostly it hurts because I still don't understand how He can love me so much despite all of my flaws.
My favorite bands (currently) are The Cab, Paramore, and of course THE Taylor Swift (also know as T. Swift to me....because I think I'm cool enough to call her that). Music is pretty darn amazing and I've never met someone who didn't fully agree. I'm not musically inclined, though, and I find that pretty unfortunate. I would really love to learn to play the piano because I tried guitar and it hurt my fingers. Pansy? Yes.
I grew up on 80 acres of land and I despise living in the city. It's loud and smelly and I miss the stars and listening to the coyotes howl at night. I used to have my very own goat ranch and I know you're really jealous of that. I'm a freckle-face which is ok until they multiply in the summer. Not cool. I'm pale...naturally and irreversibly. I've heard all the jokes: Casper, Snow White, fluorescent, ghostly...but my grandmommy used to tell me I was lily white and covered with angel kisses. So beat that.
I'm one of "those Twilight people". Besides the Bible, I have never read such a beautiful example of pure love. That was kind of a sissy thing to say. I'm really not usually like that. Only recently have I become a romantic and I kind of like it. I'm not going to say I'm different from most girls because all girls say that, thus making us all the same in our habit of "being different". It is irritating and hard to keep up with. So, I am just me and yes that does include girl-like tendencies. I am easily irritated, and I have decided this is because of my Irish-blood. I have been known to have rage blackouts and speak without thinking. This is a problem for me. I'm not someone you want to argue with because I don't play fair. However, I do not enjoy arguing. Confrontation bothers me immensely. Thus, I am sweet to people I cannot stand in order to avoid any drama. I may not like you but I sure as heck want you to like me.
I love getting good grades and I am easily upset when I don't get an A. I really don't see this as a flaw. I am a horrible driver. I've already destroyed 2 vehicles...whoops. I enjoy mail...real mail. I love it when people come up with random nicknames for me and I enjoy giving people random nicknames. I love the way it smells right before it storms. It smells like a mixture of rain and excitement and I love it. I am a summer girl. I love everything about it. The heat, the trips, sno cones, late nights...it's all amazing.
If you act stupid, you will irritate me and I will walk away and pretend like I do not know you. There is no excuse for intentional stupidity. FYI...this does not impress a guy and if it does then that is not a guy that you want. Mmmmk? I also hate baby talk. Unless you are talking to an actual infant or toddler, do not coo or giggle. This is not necessary and only makes you look foolish. As you can see, I am quick to judge. Sorry about that, but the above still stands.
I was in FFA in high school and I love it and I still "believe in the future of agriculture". I am a healthy person. I rarely get sick and I have to be close to death to go to the doctor. However, I have had some really odd ailments and injuries. I have had shingles and I broke an ankle by falling through a trampoline and a foot by slipping on a magazine. The shingles are because I stress out really easily. I used to get panic attacks often but have since learned to control them.
Oh! By the way, I am a Red Raider! Wreck 'Em Tech! I am very proud to be here in Lubbock though I did hate it at first.
I am an 80-year-old woman trapped inside a 20-year-old body. I enjoy going to bed early, waking up early, coffee in the morning but not after 8 p.m., gardens, reading long and substantial books, playing cards, talking about "the good ol' days", sending letters for no particular reason, old-timey music, comfortable shoes, rocking babies to sleep, cooking for lots of people, cleaning for company, and talking with complete strangers. I am going to rock being old, because, honestly, I already do. Old people love me. I think it's because I am "one of them"!
I am disgusted with the education system, the welfare system, the judicial system...oh wait most all systems. Less government...more power to the people! That's what I say. I am NOT participating in this recession. You have fun saving your money for no apparent reason only to have Obama snatch it away. I am going to stimulate the economy and have fun doing it. With that being said, I am praying for Obama. I really do hope he becomes exactly what this country needs. I think he has the potential to be an amazing president and I, personally, love the fact that he is a minority. I think it's time this country unites as Americans and not as black, white, yellow, purple, whatever. We are on the verge of another civil war and that's not something we can survive. Off the soapbox now.
I have some really awesome friends and family. I am very blessed. I have an innate fear of being forgotten and/or abandoned. It has kept me awake at night before and still continues to do so from time to time.
I hate guacamole. Don't put it on my plate....I will send it back. My favorite foods are grapes, sandwiches, and cereal. I'm just that simple. My favorite color is green and I really can't explain why.
I believe that everyone has the power to change the world. I believe that my cousin is already changing it. He doesn't believe that but one day he will. I believe that Taylor Swift has the loudest voice of our generation right now and that she could change negative attitudes if people would just give her a chance. I'm older than her and I already look up to her and I so does my little sister. I'm glad she hasn't succumbed to the horrible things of this world. I'm proud of you without ever having met you, T. Swift.
Well this is me in a nutshell...I'm pretty random. I don't know what I want and I sure as heck wouldn't know how to get it if I did.

A little ranting never hurt anyone...

Days like today make me wonder why I live the life I do or what the purpose of it all truly is. I have two short days until Spring Break and I wish the week would SLOW DOWN! Crazy? Indeed. Do not be mistaken, I am in desperate need of a break, but this next week will not resemble much of a break. Today I have realized how unhappy some people must be. Professors in particular. I have come to a point where I no longer feel as though someone wants me to learn, but more so they want to torture me. It is as though they have a personal vendetta to make all future college students suffer as they apparently did through school. I am no longer learning...I am going through the motions. I wake up, go to class, cry between classes, eat, go to work, go home, and do homework. Fun? No. Memorable? Yes, because I will never forget how the "best years of my life" were pure hell. Shouldn't this be fun? Shouldn't I desire to stay inside this bubble forever? Perhaps, but for the time being. I am miserable. This has made me wonder if I have messed up somewhere along the way. Have I followed the Lord? Is this where He wants me? What am I missing in this world? Where is the message in all of this? Where, my Father?!

I don't know all the answers but here's what I do know:
Life is temporary and that truly is a gift, grades don't matter to the Lord-He will not ask to see your report card, I just have to do my best-everyday, life is hard-but we wouldn't learn if it wasn't, professors have a great big stick up their butt but be a light that might change that grumpy demeanor...and most of all, despite failing a test or messing up on a paper...my Jesus loves me. He is holding me despite my desire for worldly things such as a 4.0 or a pretty piece of paper saying that I am intelligent enough to make a decent amount of money. The Lord never requires a degree to do His work...so why am I so wrapped up in getting one? Am I going to use it for His service? I hope so! But for now...News Writing still sucks, Research Methods is dumb, and Sales is pointless and I want to be able to enjoy my Spring Break!

Seeking approval.

Lately, I've noticed a clear and distinct pattern in the way we act as human beings. More so, I am referring to our constant need and desire for approval. I've come to notice that it is innate within us to not only want but to physically and emotionally NEED the "atta-boy". We search for people who will forever build up our egos but we seem to be attracted to those who we have deemed to have more authority of the subject of how much we mean in this world. Everyone has that person. That person they admire and look up to. That friend that just seems to have it all and who we've considered to have the only opinion that matters. Surely, if they say that we're good or wonderful then it's true because everyone wants to be them. We often compromise who we are in order to impress this person. This brings me to my real point--Why do we not feel this way with our God? I have often heard the words "I am not good enough for God." Truth be told, none of us are. However, why not try? Why have we given up so quickly on pursuing our Father's approval? Have we considered it too hard, or are we afraid that He might ask us to do something challenging? Whatever the case may be, I have found myself to be a poor example and a disgrace. God is the one person who will never consider me anything less than beautiful, wonderful, or amazing, yet He is never the one I work to impress. Who am I glorifying with my life? Honestly, not the One who gave me this life. I am not honoring the One who died so that can spend eternity in Paradise. I pray that my need for popularity would die. That I could learn to accept the furnace.

In the book of Daniel, we are told the story of Meschach, Shadrach, and Abednego. These men were Jews in the time of Kind Nebuchadnezzar's rule. Kind Nebuchadnezzer was a man very much in love with himself and was determined that his kingdom should be as well (and most were, he was very popular). He declared a law that whenever the music sounded throughout the city, all would bow down and worship him. Not long after, news came that Meshach, Shadrach, and Abednego were not following the law. The king thought this surely could not be true! These men were his top soldiers, and his friends! He called them before him and asked them if the accusations were accurate. Without hesitation, the men confirmed the rumors. They went on to explain that they would only serve and worship their God, no matter the consequences. They were sentenced to death my burning in the furnace. The kind was outraged and ordered the furnace to be heated seven times normal. The fire was so hot that it killed the soldiers who threw the three men in. Soon, the king was astonished and shocked to see four men walking around in the furnace. He ordered them out of the furnace to see that they were completely unharmed. They went on to explain that their God has saved them.

This story is the perfect example of people dying to the will of man and to live completlely for our Lord. I pray that I could do the same.